The Truth about EGO
What comes to your mind whenever you hear or think about the word "ego?"
Do you think that a person needs to be egotistical to some degree to be successful? How do you respond when someone disagrees with your opinion or point of view? Do you listen to and try to understand their perspective in earnest, or do you find yourself getting upset and arguing for the sake of proving that you’re right?
The belief that an overbearing ego is necessary to get through life or achieve success is a pervasive logical fallacy. If anything, your ego may be holding you back from living the life you deserve. Quite simply, our egos are founded on fear; a foundation that is built upon the unknown experiences of our lives. Fear of success, fear of failure, fear of being alone, fear of being wrong, fear of being mistreated, fear of being disliked... the list goes on.
The late Dr. Wayne Dyer best described ego as follows:
1. "I am what I have." So many of us are consumed with identifying ourselves through our material possessions; whether it’s the car we drive, the handbag we carry, or the designer clothing we wear. If we allow our egos to juxtapose our identities with what we own, what happens when those material possessions are destroyed, lost or stolen? Businesses spend what amounts to a fortune on marketing their products in such a way that you're compelled to believe that you need those products to gain a sense of importance, or be a part of the ‘in’ crowd. While there can be no doubt that it is nice having nice things, do not let those things define you as a person.
2. "I am what I do." This one is hard to avoid; people are always curious as to what we do for a living. It should come as no surprise that many of us define ourselves in relation to our careers (or lack thereof); many stay – at – home parents feel that they are not as worthy as their employed spouses because they do not hold a standard job. Very often when we end a job or career, our self – worth diminishes along with it. I want to tell you that this is a lie, signed, sealed and delivered by our own egos. Enjoy your job or career, but please understand that it is NOT who you are.
3. "I am what other people think of me." Some of us are inordinately concerned with our reputation and place significant value on what other people think about us. Learn to love yourself first. Be your genuine self. Once you accept self – love as a guiding principle in your life, what others think about you will become less vital to your self – esteem. Remember: this is YOUR life to live. Do not allow anyone else to identify your true self!
4. "I am separate from everybody else." I once had a friend who would always preface her words with the phrase "no judgement" when casting judgment on someone else. We are all one being; the universe, nature, spirituality, etc. are all interconnected. Therefore, none of us has the right to be judgmental towards anyone else. When you judge, you are effectively telling the world that you are right, and every other way is wrong. We should all embrace each other’s unique qualities and never forget that we are all one!
5. "I am separate from what's missing in my life." - It bears repeating that we are all interconnected. Once clarity and alignment reenters your life, you’ll begin to realize that we already have all we need in life.
6. "I am separate from God."- God is in all of us. John 17:21-23 states: that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one— I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.
When ego rears its head, take the time to understand its true purpose. Learn the basis of your fears and take the necessary steps to love yourself. You are beautiful, you are unique, you are strong, you are fearless! Face your fears and live the life you so desire for yourself! Leave your ego behind!
This information which I have shared with you is based on my firsthand experiences. There was a point in my life where I was so fearful of speaking in public that I was afraid to pick up the phone and order a pizza! I faced this fear by taking public speaking courses and acting classes to learn how to speak in public. As I relinquished my ego (which sought to protect me from the false danger of ‘excessive’ self – indulgence), so many doors and opportunities presented themselves in my life.
Now I am doing what I have always loved to do, and that is speaking to inspire others!
Take charge of your life and leave ego behind!